Looking for ex-introvert therapy
Out of fascinated irritation, I watch Dear Prudence videos. This week it was about an extroverted wife and her introverted husband. The wife is perfectly happy with the marriage, but wishes her friends and family would shut up about how she goes to parties alone or vacation separately. What should they do?
Prudie, of course, says that it’s no one’s business, but since people are wondering why not give some standard response? Fine. And then: but this is obviously not a compromise (is it?) and why don’t you just ask him to accompany you sometimes? Because a happy marriage that respects the right of one person to be an introvert cannot really exist, and the introvert should be the one who does all the compromising by going out to shut up annoying friends.
Introversion is just a choice, you see, and it’s not one any reasonable person would make, and not one you can explain to people: it’s your fault if they’re offended. Introverts are like lesbians or gay men: if they just met the right guy/girl, they’d change their minds. They cannot possibly *like* being introverts.
10. November 2008 at 7:44 pm :
bah.
I like my introvertedness fine. Constantly having to explain it to other people, and why it’s really not the same as being shy, not so much. so I’ve mostly given up on explaining it. which of course is clearly MY problem and if I’d just be like everyone else people wouldn’t think I was unfriendly, etc. etc.
12. November 2008 at 5:42 pm :
What kills me about extroverts, and about Prudie here, is that for people who claim to love people so much, they often exhibit zero insight into the actual needs of others. Zero insight, zero curiosity, zero giving a shit. Introverts just come in for the worst of it because it’s so baffling to extroverts that anyone could genuinely like being alone. That’s their worst fear you’re trivializing, Ms. Wexler! For shame!